Choice or Default?

I've been thinking for quite some time now, and I've said it in many ways...but to just come right out and wonder: "Did I (finally) choose this life for myself, or am I forever cursed to be on 'default'?" For me, now...love, is the be all-end all of living an army life. I am in no way, comfortable being around civilians. I also don't know many civilians. Mostly, because I live in an army town, but also, because each time I've met someone outside the base, they're completely ignorant and a lot of the times just plain RUDE concerning my life and my beliefs. Now, clearly I'm not writing this in a vent against civilians, but I'm sure it has a lot to do with why I choose to stay.

To the point, though.

As I've said before, this is the only life I've ever known. I'm content here. I'm proud, and I'm supportive here. I LOVE here. So back to my question: have I chosen this life on my own at this point? I can't think of any place or anyone I'd rather be with than with my soldier. I've gone through SO much for him, and would do it again in a heartbeat if that meant I would have everything I've ever wanted and deserve to have in the future. He means the world to me, and if I could, I would give him the world. I do my best to compensate, though.

But why am I so good at this? Now back to my "default training." I can't help but constantly wonder why I am so accepting and tolerable of being left alone so much. Of being out of the loop, and not even questioning the "I can't tell you's." I just GET IT. Now, don't get me wrong, I could definitely live without having to listen to them CONSTANTLY talk about work, but I get that too. It's not just a job, it's their life. It's who they are. It's SOUL for a lot of them. It's just natural.

So because the army itself is natural for them, is being an army dependent/girlfriend/wife a natural way to be as well? Am I set by default to do this for as long as he wants this life, or am I doing it for love and because I just "get it"? Could I really leave, even if I wanted to? All I know is, I love him, and will do this no matter what. But I still question why I do it, if not just for love.